Riders

Mike “10”

AKA:

  • The Skinny Bastard
  • Chambe-clear–It’s not just clear, its Chambe-clear
  • “Hollywood”

Strengths:

  • Climbing, speed, endurance

Weaknesses:

  • Drags his ass in back of the paceline
  • Don’t ask him if the road is clear (see Chambe-clear)
  • Early Spring, late Fall
  • A terrible draft

What Makes Him Such a “MFR”:

  • Likes to tease everyone on the hills
  • Shows up late
  • Can’t trust him (see Chambe-clear)

Mike “11”

AKA:

  • Mike Eleven
  • “Slow that bastard down”

Strengths:

  • Stays in front of the paceline
  • Speed, endurance
  • Can hold his liquor

Weaknesses:

  • Stays in front of the paceline—doesn’t know how to pace himself
  • Climbing long hills…thank God something slows him down
  • Doesn’t know how to fall off a mountain bike!

What Makes Him Such a “MFR”:

  • Drinks that damn juice of his and is re-energized
  • Stays out front until his legs lock up—won’t slow down—like a dog chasing a rabbit
  • Again, Doesn’t know how to fall off a mountain bike!

Frank

AKA:

  • The “F” in MFR
  • F’ing Frank
  • That F’ing Frank, You MoFo…

Strengths:

  • Speed, sprints, endurance
  • Early Spring, late Fall

Weaknesses:

  • Steep, long hills, dammit!
  • Chasing Mike “11” in the paceline

What Makes Him Such a “MFR”:

  • Loves to pick routes just to hurt people…including himself
  • Eats ice cream then likes to kick ass
  • Laughs at Mike “11” when he falls off his mountain bike

Ron

AKA:

  • Sandbagger
  • Then…”Where the Hell did that energy come from”
  • Pinball Wizard (The guy loves to bounce off trees!)

Strengths:

  • Speed, sprints, endurance, downhill
  • Long hills…finds his groove
  • Charbonneau Memorial Speedway
  • Mechanic…everyone needs one of those!

Weaknesses:

  • Short steep hills
  • Can’t hold his liquor
  • “I want to mountain bike”

What Makes Him Such a “MFR”:

  • “I really only like road bikes, no wait, I really only like mountain bikes”
  • Eats egg sandwiches on a ride!
  • How the hell does he chase Mike “10” up those hills?

Carl

AKA:

  • Mosquito—always buzzing about something
  • Karl—a little too liberal
  • Why You Breathing So Hard?

Strengths:

  • No small kids!
  • Determination—pushes himself hard, not afraid of pain
  • Small and lightweight—he’s a climber
  • Mechanically inclined (but couldn’t fix his truck)

Weaknesses:

  • No small kids!
  • Did I mention he talks a lot?
  • Mexican food
  • Still learning how to “go with the flow” in Robinson
  • Likes to sleep in on Sunday—see “no small kids”

What Makes Him Such a “MFR”:

  • Yes, he talks a lot, so he’s as annoying as the rest of us.
  • Offers us energy snacks drugged with laxatives during the ride.
  • Encourages Mike 11 to chase him up hills.

Dr. Dave

AKA:

  • The Doctor, Davarino, Davy
  • The guy who appreciates riding with us…what the hell is that all about?
  • The Hustler…we can’t shake this guy up.

Strengths:

  • Mountain biking, Batchelor Street, technical trails
  • Triage…can’t wait to test his medical skills (on someone other than me)
  • A great attitude…WTF?
  • Spunk…I hate spunk! (I lifted this from the first episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show)

Weaknesses:

  • We have an appointment and he makes us wait an hour to see him…okay, that’s just a complaint about doctors in general.
  • He likes us—we can exploit that!
  • “I ONLY want to mountain bike”
  • Twisty trails…Mike 10 and I seem able to out-twist him, but how long will that last?

What Makes Him Such a “MFR”:

  • Takes our abuse and doesn’t seem to mind
  • Maybe he can get us discount tickets at Berkshire East! Or, maybe some free surgery!
  • A pulse…admittedly, were getting less picky about who we let ride with us.

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